Friday, March 8, 2013

I've never seen anyone have carnal relations with a hoola hoop

Show Report - Cabaret at the End of the World
Release party for our first full length album "Apéritif for Dysfunction"
Rancho Relaxo – Thurs. Dec. 20
Featuring Host Brendan Bane, Wesley of Well Rounded Hoops, Bella Fox of Nerd Girl Burlesque, and lounge-punks Conflicting Plaid

C - After spending months preparing for this event, I tried to be very sensible for the show. I took the day off work, had a big late lunch with just one drink to relax, went to a friends to do my makeup... but i forgot redbull! After load in i was just spazzing for it, and spazzing in general. 
D - Red Rain on tap at Rancho....It truly was a Christmas Miracle.
This was a gig we had been preparing for since March. And if it was that last night on earth, we were going to make damn sure it was well worth the price of admission!
M--The Red Rain on tap was the miracle from the Little Baby Elvis that we all needed. And how awesome is Dan for letting us book that show. He's either way too trusting or way too crazy...or way too drunk and forgets that he says we can do these things.  

Avec our charming MC, Monsieur Brendan Bane.

C - i was thrilled at how many people braved the weather and the holiday party exhaustion to haul themselves out to our show!
M--And there were a heap of peeps there to see the ever-awesome Conflicting Plaid, but who seemed to dig our schtick too. 

C- I haven't even seen the movie Cabaret, but apparently i was dressed as Liza Minelli. Glittery hotpants, garters, and a bowler. If only i knew how to tap dance or something!
D - The only way to outdo spandex...fishnet stockings! The things I will do for these girls!
Well, there's probably nothing I wouldn't do! All part of being a "team"! And I have to admit that fishnets are comfortable!
M--I didn't even have to play Barbie with you for this gig. You came up with that fishy ensemble all by yourself! 

C - Our dancing girls were super cute, and all gussied up cabaret style! We really are the luckiest little band in the world. 
D - I have to agree, even though I'm always obscured by ass! But it's always totally worth it!

C- the first set went really smoothly - we had only had one drink, and were so excited that most of our friends were there! for our last song we turned Prince's "1999" into "Last Day of the Mayan". seriously, that thing nearly wrote itself. I heard people cracking up - mission accomplished. 
D - Willkommen went over better than expected. I actually heard people laughing. I was afraid of bombing and disappionting the girls. But it worked out OK! Whew!
M--I was too sober. Entirely too sober. I fixed that, though. 

Skeeziest little band in the biz.

C- Wesley from Well Rounded Hoops was amazing! Very creative and intense. Bella Fox is an amazing burlesque dancer - her strut works a crowd like nobody's business!
M--I've never seen anyone have carnal relations with a hoola hoop like Wesley did. It was somehow both erotic and adorable. And Bella was a floofy heap o' fans! She's always lovely, and has the best smile when she's peeling her kit off. 

C- after our first "sober" set, we changed into christmas lingerie for the second set. good grief. but then we sipped a few cocktails. you know, for the nerves. Yeah. Spacker Dave found us doing makeup in the ladies room, and returned in a bit with a round of tequila shots for us, and a shot of air for himself. Yeah, that boy is a mystery! 
M--Heh, of all the whoredrobe we've collected over the years, I never thought we'd get two wearings out of the fuzzysluttySantasuits. Wise investments always pay off. Even when it's lingery. 

C- Doctor Apocalypse was there, and Brendan pulled him on stage for a chat. Mad scientists come to our party without warning. what the what? 
M--We are the mad scientists of rock. Doctor Apocalypse was just paying his professional respects. 
C- SONG IDEA - mad scientists of rock!!!!

C- the second set was a little looser and rowdier, but we weren't actually drunk. thank goodness, or oh well. we hadn't done "release the hostages" in a while... sadly, i didn't see any boobies. 
M--we were fuzzier in many ways. But yeah, you're right about the boobies. Hey Toronto--Brantford totally kicked your ass in the showing the boobs department. You really ought to up your game. 

C- on yeah - there was actually Killer Kool-Aid served. Grape, like Jim Jones used. one must be historically accurate when one is being truly tasteless. 
M--yet another reason that Rancho is my favourite bar ever--they let us bring our own Kool-Aid, and they serve it to people. They had no idea what kinda irresponsible things I coulda put in there, but they were just "Of course we can add vodka to this.".  
C- did you add extra crack? Do we have a crack budget yet, or are we still saving up for fancier shoes?
M--crack? Shoes? Crack...? Shoes...? D'UH! SHOES!

C- there were some full on blinding paparazzi moments. one person would shove us together to get a photo, then suddenly there were 5 people blasting flashes. if you wonder why i am pop-eyed and crazed looking in some of the shots, i swear i'm not on crack! 
D - It seems more and more fans want pictures! I'm not sure if they love us or plan to use them for blackmail purposes in the future!
M--That paparazzi scene was ~weird~! I mean, I know I'm all about looking like a rock star but I wouldn'ta though we were fooling anyone there. 
C- gak. that frightens me. Brendan's puppet friend frightened me a little too.M--You know, I'd like to think that my stellar whoredrobe selections for the evening had something to do with it, but, really, I think it was Doug's fishnets and pink booty shorts that they all wanted to get a picture of themselves with.  

C- i wish i could have chatted to everyone there for at least half an hour. but we were pulled in all directions. was crazy fun crowd. 
M--Epic night! So many people came out! So much fun!! 

And the girlies, they danced all night!

Look at us, all classy and sassy.

Buy the album!

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