Friday, June 21, 2013

Show Report - Fear And Loathing In The Golden Horseshoe

Show Report - The Dolls With Balls mini-tour

   “We can’t stop here...this is beaver country”

                       May 24th, The Bovine (Toronto) w/ The Alcohollys, Anti-Queens
                       May 25th, The Richmond (London) w/ The Alcohollys, Anti-Queens
                       May 26th, The Casbah (Hamilton) w/ The Alcohollys, Anti-Queens,
                                                                                    The Creepshow

This mini-tour was long-awaited and had us excited beyond our wildest dreams. (Well, maybe Doug’s wildest dreams!) Three cities in three nights, Mandy’s birthday, and three bands stacked full of chicks who rock like there’s no tomorrow!

It all started on Friday...
May 24th at the Bovine Sex Club in Toronto...
How better to celebrate Mandy’s birthday than with 120+ of our closest friends? The evening’s goal was to keep Miss Mandy reasonably “sober” enough to play a set, while making sure there was still enough “sheMandigans” throughout the night!
The Anti-Queens were first to take the stage and played a set of pure power/pop/punk that would put Greenday to shame on any given day. Three girls in matching striped two-tone pants rocking it hard--singer/guitarist Emily Bones definitely has an awesome growl; Mary Deth is cute as a button thrashing on bass; and Lindsay Bird rocked it with solid drumming all the way. Watch out for these girls, they’re poised to take over. As much fun to watch as they are listen to.
We were up next. Loretta Jean of Nerd Girl Burlesque graced us with her amazing assel skills once again. Devilishly divine and as sweet as tequila itself, ahe is always a crowd pleaser! (And an “us” pleaser as well). Our own High Lo Go-Gos took the stage in matching pink and black striped tank tops for the next number. Every single one of them, a hot distraction and busting out all of the sexiest dance moves!Poor Doug is forever obscured by ass, but he hasn’t complained yet. How could he? Really!
Finally, it was time for the grand finale. Unbeknownst to Mandy, at the end of “Big Dumb Rock Song”, Doug was to “debass” (not debase) her of the Harlot, the High Lo Go-Gos were to hold her still while special guest, the dapper and debonair (not deboner) Romeo Satin, jumped up on stage to serenade her with her favourite *namesake ballad*! Which was abruptly cut short and replaced with a Mandy birthday rap with such lines as “All the boys lining up outside the Smart to get some” and “Let me be your Theo so I can bury my bone”! Once the song was finished, it was time to do what we do best--resume the sheMandigans!

The Alcohollys took the stage and rocked it hard for a solid 45 minutes, with fun originals, like Lock Stock Lola, and an excellent cover of the Cars “Let’s Go”. Kittie drummer Mercedes Lander (Ruby Pubey) plays louder than most drummers, male or female. (Not that that’s a bad thing) Definitely twice the volume that Doug plays at. Kittie bassist Tanya Candler (Scarlet Fever) is solid on the G string. Bree (Maiden China) was lost in a swirl of power chords and leads underneath her flowing locks, a la Slash and Johnny Ramone. And Dana Hartman (Kimber Hart) is a superb vocalist and keyboardist. These girls rock--sexy and smart!

By the end of the night Mandy had the birthday shots:blood ratio working, so we were treated to intellectual musings like “shhhhhhh... be quiet, I’m emailing my mom”, and “POUTINE... fuck yeah!!!”. As for the rest of night...Well, we’ll let Mandy decide what she wants to disclose...or not!
M--I ate poutine; I went to bed; life was good...and not too hung over in the morning. Best birthday ever!
Best parts of the night? So much prancing; poutine; finally sharing the stage with the one-and-only (thank goodness) Romeo Satin.

*NOTE* Mandy despises the Manilow classic in any form!
*NOTE* M--seriously, I will shiv

I always look forward to the road trips...
Saturday, May 25th at the Richmond in London, ON
Night 2

London has to be one of our favourite places to play, and The Richmond Hotel is just one of those bars that looks like your typical local dive, and it pretty much is, according to the locals. But the crusty boozehounds that frequent the joint love us and get us.

With the mom-mobile packed, Red Rain in abundance, and Mandy channelling her best Hunter S. Thompson it was time to hit the road...Somewhere along the 403 just past Hamilton, we vined Mandy. She seemed in good spirits considering the night before, and having to negotiate with her mom for the mom-mobile at 9:30 a.m.  

Pulled into London and met up with our official band photographer-turned-video producer, Jason and Stephanie, our official stunt ass (check our album photos!) then off to the hotel to “whore up” for the show. The hotel parking only had one space left, between a wall and some douchenozzle who decided to take up a space and a half, leaving one tight spot for Mandy to maneuver the mom-mobile into with a little guidance from the rest of us. It was so tight she had to wiggle out of the van, thus causing injury to her “nature’s pocket” as Stephanie put it!
M--A bruised box ~is~ kinda rock n’ roll.

Once we got to The Richmond, there was “theraquila” and warm up drinks, small talk with the cutest bartender around, and the start of another Rock and Roll extravaganza! Same order as the previous night, no time restrictions, and a bar full of super cool fans. It went off without a hitch and everyone rocked as hard as the night before.
We tried two new shots--The Liquid Chicken, that tasted like hot wings, and the Shitty Mike, that as Mike described it, “it’s nasty and leaves a horrible taste in your mouth.”  Doug missed out on the Shitty Mikes but made up for it with double Irish Car Bombs. Once again we managed to run the bar out of tequila. Seems to be our curse! Or maybe it’s a blessing. No...curse!

Best parts of the night? Mercedes brought us a round of shots to the stage; a bartab under a C-note (usually a challenge); post-gig shawarma at Baracat!
M--seriously, that shwarma is ridiculously good, and I’m so glad I got two, ‘cause I was eating that second one for about three more days.

We’re playing the Casbah upstairs and we’ve been added to The Creepshow gig? Oh yeah!
Sunday, May 26th at the Casbah in Hamilton, ON
Night 3
At the beginning of the mini-tour, we weren’t even sure we were going to play the end, owing to a scheduling cockup in Hamilton, but the gods of rock came through for us, and we got a way better gig than we could have hoped for--opening for The Creepshow, a real band!
This is Doug’s hometown, and yay for Doug’s dad! He’s a huge fan now that we’re holding Doug hostage, and he came out to support. And he’s now a fan of the Anti-Queens and Alcohollys as well.

We went first, rocking a set as short as Cyn’s skirt, and despite some technical difficulty with an uncooperative microphone cable, we pulled it off, and got the hell of the stage--there was minimal drinking time that night; we had to be efficient.

The Anti-Queens and Alcohollys continued to rock the night, and the Creepshow brought their brand of surfy-psycho-billity that they’re known for. These cats throw down! And of course they have to be fronted by what can be called “Doug’s kryptonite”!

Best parts of the night? The bar didn’t run out of tequila; there were multiple shots of tequila bought for us; TEQUILA!

And thus ended the Dolls With Balls mini-tour. It was a great 3 days, with great girls (and Doug) and we can’t wait to do it again. Next stops? Ottawa? Montreal? Kingston? Shawinigan???

Thanks to Mercedes, Dana, Tanya, Bree, Emily, Mary and Lindsay!  You dolls rock!

(This show report brought to you by Doug, since Cyn & Mandy were in Brooklyn, drinking themselves into a vacation coma. )